I don't know what it is about going into a store and having people offering you a service that somehow changes people's attitude. Of course, I guess when you work in a town that is full of rich yuppies and poor white trash that act like yuppies I shouldn't be surprised. However, through all the bullshit that customers throw my way, and all the dumbass fools that I have to talk to each day, the stupid shit these people say is just TOO FUNNY!! Yes I do rage sometimes, however in order to keep my job I have to rage inside. I have imaginary conversations where I tell the customer exactly what should be told to them, I will even do their side of the conversation because frankly they are too easy to predict.
First of all, is there someone out there that is teaching all these fools that the little plastic container of ink that they place into their printer to create words and images on the paper is called a cartlidge. It is called a fucking cartridge. Notice the pronounced T and R that you HAVE TO PRONOUNCE TOGETHER!!! There isn't even an 'L" in the word at all. At first I just thought that it was maybe one or two idiots, but its a large part of the population. Every time one of them says it that way, I just picture myself reaching back really far, almost cartoonish like, and I just slap the spit right out of their mouth.
Another horrible type of customer is the kind that wants to call on the phone and ask you large amounts of questions with no regard for what is happening in the store at that moment. "I don't care that you are handling three different customers at once, I have called and I want to be helped RIGHT NOW!!!" Like this lady that called just a couple of days ago. I answered the phone and she said she wanted to know all the sale prices for laptops with 4 gigs of ram. Now, when she said it I paused for about 10 seconds without responding, because I was waiting for loud laughter or snickering of some sort. I mean, how can this person be for real. I told her to hold on while saying under my breathe "yeah I'll get your fucking prices for you, you inbred piece of shit" I made her wait a solid 5 minutes before I picked back up and told her they range from 499-1000 dollars. She asked what we had in desktops then. I told her it goes from 299-1000. She said what brands, I said all the brands on our website. If she asked one more question I was gonna hang up on her. I was freaking livid at this point. What kind of fucktard thinks I am gonna walk all over the store while they hold and do their shopping over the phone.
Finally, my favorite type of customer has to be the know-it-all. This type of customer comes in and ask for your opinion or knowledge only so they can tell you just how wrong you are. More often then not, these people don't have a fucking grasp on reality much less ANYTHING to do with computers. So this jackass wants to know why a external hard drive says it has to be formatted to work on a Mac. I explain that there is a different file system between Mac and PC and you can't just go back and forth with files. He said that of course you can because he has always been able to and does it all the time. I told him then he is the first person in history, or that I have ever heard of that can do so with such ease. Now when I said this I was already angry and expected him to be satisfied with this, but all I saw in his face was confusion. This son of a bitch actually believes the bullshit he is spouting. So we go back and forth for a few more minutes until another customer that is a Mac user steps up and explains to the guy that he is wrong and I am correct. Now mind you he claims he can transfer ANY FILE of ANY KIND easily on ANY HARD DRIVE to and from Mac and PC with no formatting. He still refuses to accept it. I am thinking, "Why the fuck did you ask for my help if you KNOW you can do it with ANY hard drive? Why not just pick ANY hard drive shove it up your ass and go play with some bear cubs? At least the mother bear will rip you to shreds so fast you won't feel much pain!"
I really do think we should have a guard tower in the middle of the store, and when customers get out of line they get shot with bean bags. Or someone can have a cattle prod and if you put shit back in the wrong spot or try to steal you get zapped. Oh well, just wishful thinking
edit: lol I was drinking while writing