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 Post subject: Story of Hyperion
PostPosted: 19 Jun 2017 00:59 
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Posts: 62
To be honest this is because i'm currently in a low point in life. I know that sounds dumb because i do not have as much life experience as most of you all, especially the adults. But just to start off, I was born on October 15, 1998 in a family of now 4 (since i made the 4th edition to it), my mom, my dad and my only but older brother who was born 6 years before. I'll be completely honest, life was almost perfect, no money problems, we did not live in a rough situation at all, my parents would literally go into debt if it mean't that my brother and I got what was necessary, and i never really experienced bullying at all when i was little. Obviously though life isn't always perfect, around elementary years, my brother was in high school so he had that rebellious phase to him, i remember nights where him and my dad would argue over and over about so many things. One thing i hated was the yelling, I don't know why i was sensitive to yelling but i was. I hated my dad at so many times, yes, i love him, but... he never helped my mom with money, he spent money left and right and never realized the consequences and he still probably doesn't but he's getting better at it, he would throw around his 24 years of military service as something to say when my mom says that he doesn't do anything around the house at all. Honestly, i'm ashamed of myself, I never helped my mom at all, i never washed dishes, i never did my own laundry, i never helped with physical things at all since i'm a walking stick. Also, i don't think i'm thin because of genetics, it's probably because i never really felt hungry when i was sitting on my ass playing on the gamecube, laptop, computer, etc., so i didn't really eat a lot so i probably unintentionally made my stomach small. The only talent i literally have is being an asshole, wasting time on the computer and playing video games, nothing else. I was never really self-conscious about that either because i was probably walking through my life blindly, not realizing that i'm going to be a burden on my parents (who in fact are now 61 and 51 years of age) if i continue this behavior when i'm older. Now after so many years in middle and high school of either being made fun of or being paranoid about that, i'm here now, mainly on the internet because i can't make friends in real life because i'm too boring, hell even if i'm desperate and wanting to, i never wanted to do or get into things that i did not want to be in or do. I want to write more but even then my mind can't pick up everything when it's thinking about so many choices, both good and bad. In the end though, I'm sorry for the ways that i acted that were really in the "douchebaggery" category and i'm sorry to both of my parents for not wanting to go to college because now the last thing they'll see before they die will be a loser who's will be in his 30s, no wife, no successful job, no house, etc. Also i'm sorry for posting this as well, but honestly, i just feel like i'm fucking insane.

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 Post subject: Re: Story of Hyperion
PostPosted: 19 Jun 2017 06:57 
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Joined: 25 Mar 2010 19:07
Posts: 7793
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One thing i hated was the yelling, I don't know why i was sensitive to yelling but i was.

SAME. The minute somebody starts yelling, even if they're yelling in joy or excitement, it really sets me on edge.

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I never helped my mom at all, i never washed dishes, i never did my own laundry, i never helped with physical things at all since i'm a walking stick.

Same. :( Even when my mom got diagnosed with MS I still didn't feel any desire to help her with anything, and I mostly just complained whenever I did have to.

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it's probably because i never really felt hungry when i was sitting on my ass playing on the gamecube, laptop, computer, etc.

I've known people like that who will set timers so they know when to eat.

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i'm sorry to both of my parents for not wanting to go to college because now the last thing they'll see before they die will be a loser who's will be in his 30s

You don't have to go to college to not be a loser. I know the job markets suck a lot right now, but even then your job doesn't define you. Being a good person to those around you makes you a successful person, and that's something I think you're good at. It's also something that if you think you're not good at it, you can change it without having to go to college or really do anything except try.

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no wife, no successful job, no house

It's hard because society teaches you that these things are markers of success, but it's important to get out of that mindset. A large portion of people our age simply won't be able to own houses because of the way our country handles property and the way the baby boomers handled it. Your identity isn't defined by your job, either. A lot of the people I work with at Kroger just work 35-40 hours there but have rich lives outside of their job that define them. And a wife will come if you go out and meet people. If you can develop one hobby that occurs outside the house, then you'll start meeting people who share that hobby. Some of those people will be women. And some of those women will be interested in relationships. And the ones who aren't will be good friends.

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Also i'm sorry for posting this as well, but honestly, i just feel like i'm fucking insane.

You sound like I sounded when I was super depressed all the time.

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 Post subject: Re: Story of Hyperion
PostPosted: 19 Jun 2017 09:00 
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Joined: 26 Sep 2010 22:53
Posts: 2842
Location: T͚̜͙͚̠̦ͬͧ̐ͬĥ͙͉͙̥̹̝͖ͮ̒̒̋ͤ̄eͭͫͭ ̥̤͔̽ͥ͐ͦͦͣỊ̒̎n̖͚̘͇̬̟te̻̥͇̳̲̲͊̂͆ͩr̝̯̦̼͔̖̻̽n͙ͬ͆̎e͔̰͎ͩ͋̀̚t̮̞͎̓ͨ́
Man, I wish you knew how happy I am you posted this. Maybe I should make one too. You have no idea how similar we are. The difference is, I'm like 7 years older than you, but I was in the exact same position at your age. Worse, I ended up going to college for 4 years, for 4 different programs, and either withdrawing or stopped going to each of them. I didn't even finish a single full year. Then I went and worked iffy temp jobs on and off for another year.

It was until I was 24 that I realized I have to pick something. So I picked cars. I love cars. I want to work with cars. I STILL don't know WHAT I want to do forever. I decided it doesn't matter. A career doesn't have to be one linear path. I decided in the "automotive industry". I still only make $1.50 more than minimum wage. At least I have a direction now.

And I'll be fully honest, this is because of serial. Serial has had a few years of shit luck. He worked at staples for a long time and fucking killed it at that job. Even though he hated it. Every day he worked, he would bitch about it on mumble. But the next day he would go back in and try his best. Did that for years. Then when he left he went to U-haul. And fucking killed it there. Now he's working at a law firm and is going forward insanely strong. He's my motivation. Serials the only reason I've kept this job for 6 months so far. In trying to follow in his steps I went from a wash bay attendant to the parts department in 1 month. When I got hired here (Honda), my boss told me he doesn't offer promotions until an employee has worked a year. I just put my head down, gritted my teeth, and washed cars to the best of my ability, as lame as that sounds.

Your life is far from over, even though it feels like it. It took me trial and error to even find a path. I had the same issue (I still kind of do) of analysis paralysis. You get to the point where ANY decision is better than no decision. Even if it doesn't work out, at least it's one thing off the list of possibilities. I'd love to have a life chat with you when I get my computer up and running again.

Love you bro. You don't have to be a millionaire to be successful. Happiness is way more important.

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 Post subject: Re: Story of Hyperion
PostPosted: 19 Jun 2017 12:12 
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Joined: 06 May 2012 10:10
Posts: 697
It's easy to get in the habit of staying home all day and playing games - you should find an activity that gets you out of the house for a couple hours a day. Go for a hike, join a gym, volunteer at an animal shelter. All these things will help your mentality and help calm the feelings of inferiority - everybody has them.


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 Post subject: Re: Story of Hyperion
PostPosted: 19 Jun 2017 13:31 
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Joined: 25 Mar 2010 19:07
Posts: 7793
InstantKarma wrote:
volunteer at an animal shelter.

This is an incredibly good idea. If there is something you enjoy, find a way to volunteer to do it. This will (a) get you acquainted with like-minded people and (b) get your foot in the door on a job. I don't know how you feel about animals but people who love animals are awesome and will make good friends.

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