Absurd Minds

More than 100 years without a motto.
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 Post subject: The Story of a Hobo.
PostPosted: 03 Aug 2016 19:04 
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Joined: 09 May 2016 21:04
Posts: 90
Location: USA
Hi, I'm heemer. Many of you know me as the self-proclaimed, internet hobo but, I was not always a hobo of the inter-webs. Come around the camp fire children and let me tell you about the legend of the internet hobo.

I started life as a wee lad at the age of 1 second. As soon as i left my mothers womb i was tasked to search for dank memes in the deep and dank areas of the internet. Born two immigrant parents, I was raised in household filled with spices and dank memes. I was introduced to the internet at the ripe age of 3.14159672 and nothing was ever the same ever since. I was taught by my older siblings to play doom, doom 2, hexen, and heretic. I also had a NES on which i played Super Mario Bros 3 and Kirby's Adventure.

After i got my own computer at the young age of 7, I started playing Runescape Classic. I had one of those dino pcs that could only push so many pixels. I then played Runescape and every iteration of it ever since. I stopped playing runescape when I had real games to play on the ps1 that my brother gave to me. Sure, the ps1 was a 2nd generation hand-me-down but I didnt care. It was the real first gaming console that was truly mine. I played the hell out of that thing. I knew every combo for every character in tekken 3, every jump scare in silent hill and resident evil, and knew every cheat code for Dragonball Z Ultimate Battle 22. I then picked back runescape up again after the massive graphical update when everything went 3d-ish in 2006. And played it for another 5 years until i got my first ps2.

When I got my ps2, it was the first console that I bought with my own money and I could call it mine. I opened that ps2 box, and pulled out the shining silver ps2 slim...it was one of the best feelings. I played the shit out of that thing. Titles from Dragonball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 3 to Black to Final Fantasy X and X-2 as well as Siphon Filter and The Path of Neo. I played them all! And loved all of them. And after a few years i went back to the tride and true Runescape.

A decade later, I was off the college. The internet hobo had made it to dank meme central. It was the first time i had money in my bank account in order to spend at my will. The first game i bought in college was Dark Souls: Prepare to Die Edition. It was at that moment, when i first played dark souls...that I know that i was never going back to Runescape. I knew what it was like to play a real game. And from then on, I became a Steamophile.

In the Summer of that same year, I bought CS:GO cuz my friends were raaaaving about it. And i easily put 300-400 hours within the first few months of having it. I was addicted to CS:GO, even tho i sucked.

And so now I'm here. I proclaimed myself the internet hobo. Instead of looking for dank memes....i realized that i must become the dank memes. And so I made my own meme. "The Internet Hobo."

The End.

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~ heemer | the internet hobo

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 Post subject: Re: The Story of a Hobo.
PostPosted: 04 Aug 2016 07:04 
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Joined: 25 Mar 2010 19:21
Posts: 4976
You sir are too much! I loved me some hexen back in the day.

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I'm so official, like a dealer with a pistol or referee with a whistle.


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