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 Post subject: Sexism is deplorable
PostPosted: 08 Jun 2014 19:22 
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I'd just like to preface this rant with a disclaimer. I know not all men are sexist. I know some women are sexist too. When I say "you" I am not referencing it directly to you. I'm referring to the sexist people I know in my life so please do not take it personally. Unless you're sexist. In that case, fuck you.
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At work today, my coworker and I (we'll call him Icarus) somehow got onto the topic of whether or not a woman divorcing her husband should receive alimony. Icarus said, "It's completely unfair that if I were to divorce my wife she would get money from me every month. I support her while she's home with the kids every day, so she should be damn grateful." This annoyed me. Severely annoyed me.

Obviously, every situation is different. But if a woman gives up her career to be a stay at home (SAH, because I'm lazy) mom, she loses all her benefits and her retirement plan when she does so. Not only that, but if she's a SAH mom she also loses out on YEARS of building up her resume, learning new skills, etc. So when she eventually does divorce her husband and have to re-enter the work force in order to survive, she's severely limited in what options she has available to her. Based on each individual situation, she bloody well deserves some fucking alimony. As a disclaimer, I believe a man should have this same opportunity given he's in the same situation as the woman is in this scenario.

While I was stewing over this conversation, I begin to think over all the different ways men (one or two women are included in this too, sadly) have been sexist towards me. And I really began to get pissed the fucking hell off.
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I was joking with a random coworker (he got fired for something unrelated) about Spongbob. He was saying spongebob funny, and I was jokingly mocking him and it sounded like spongeboob. He said "spongeboob" really thoughtfully then turned to me and asked "Do you have spongeboobs?"
"...excuse me??!"
"I'm asking if you have implants."
"That's...not really appropriate to ask..."
"What? Really?"
NO, NO IT IS NOT. This one is just stupid.
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Another coworker (We'll call him Wall-E) has always had a strange demeanor about me. I grew suspicious of his opinions of women in the workplace, so I asked him what his thoughts on that subject were. His response (paraphrased), "Women belong at home, with the children. It's the nature of things. Of course, in today's society both women and men have to work otherwise you can't survive. So women work out of necessity - not because they should." At the time, I was incredulous. Actually, screw that, I still am. Just because I'm female doesn't mean I don't belong in the workplace. Sure, I may not be as physically strong as a man because I'm genetically different. But don't think just because I'm small I don't have just as much to bring to the table as a guy would. I'm a hell of a lot more intelligent, definitely more educated, and far better with making customers thinking they're being treated the way they should. I'm just as hard working. I'm just as important to the team.
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I'm fairly certain I'm one of the first females my boss has had working directly underneath him. When I first started, he told me (paraphrased), "I'm not no sexist. I got my wife and daughter at home, and there ain't nuthin' they can't do, so I don't have any issues with hiring you." Excuse me? I'm sad that he felt he had to even tell me this. I wish that this was just...commonly accepted. I think part of why he felt the need to tell me this was because he knew the vast majority of his other workers are sexist.
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Working in retail can be a massive pain in the ass. It's not complicated or mentally challenging work. It's not even that physically strenuous. But it is mentally tiresome. Dealing with irate, demanding, bossy customers who are determined that their way is the right way (even when they're oh-so-obviously WRONG) is stressful. It makes it just ten times more stressful when you're a physically small woman who is very easily intimidated.
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I work in the meat department of a retail store. We have a refrigerated room we cut in, with a large window so customers can see in. I had one male customer come up to me and tell me, "You grind this pork up for me."
"No, sir, I'm sorry. We can't do that because that pork has bone in it."
"You grind pork for me."
"No, I'm sorry sir, we can only put beef in our grinder."
"You grind pork now."
"I'm sorry sir, our grinder is beef only."
At this point, he looked inside our refrigerated room and saw my male coworkers. "You ask them to grind for me."
The entire conversation was held in a demeaning tone. As though I didn't know what I was talking about. As though I needed my male coworker to come out and tell him for me that we didn't do something. Just because I was a younger female person, I obviously didn't know if our beef-only grinder could have pork in it or not. Oh no, I'm way too dumb to understand such a complex subject. At this point, I snapped a little bit and actually stood up for myself for once. I lost my polite I'm-dealing-with-customers voice. "No. We don't do that," my tone was sharp, and I glared at him, daring him to push me more. He stared at me for a minute, laughed nervously and walked away.
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I frequently have customers call me "babe", "baby", "sweetie", etc. "Oh thanks babe." "Can you get that for me, sweetie?" It's demeaning. It makes me angry. I don't want to be called by pet names. My boyfriend calls me "babe" - not you. Thinking about it now, it makes me so angry, I want to cry and punch something. I want to stand up for myself and tell them "My name is Cemy, if you need anything from me please call me that." But I'm scared. I'm scared of what they'll say or how they'll react. I'm scared they'll go to my bosses and make up stupid bullshit just to get me in trouble. I'm scared they'll yell at me and get angry. Perfect example of someone getting angry with me? Another coworker.
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This one we'll call Frank. Frank is a married man with three kids. His oldest child, female, is about fourteen, I'm twenty-one. He's in his forties. Fred started off calling me "honey". I thought that was kind of weird, but I thought perhaps he thought of me as he would his daughter. It's a frequent nickname for someone older to call someone younger. Which, I'm okay with that. I'd prefer Frank to think of me as a daughter rather than the alternative. "Honey" soon became "doll". This made me even more uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything because he kind of has that personality where he just...nicknames women, I suppose. I kept reminding myself that he probably thought of me as his daughter. Frank called me "babe" once. I told him politely that "babe" is a nickname my boyfriend calls me and I was not okay with him calling me that. In fact, I'd prefer if he didn't call me "doll" or "honey" either as they make me uncomfortable and I'd rather him call me by my name. He was all (paraphrasing), "Oh yeah, sure sure. I didn't mean anything bad about it, it's just force of habit." Okay, fine, whatever. I then became "Dol-I mean Cemyyy." Which was still annoying, but at least he was trying, right? Wrong.

Every once in a while he'd forget and call me "doll". I didn't say anything at first, because everyone forgets, and he was in the habit of calling me doll. I should have called him out every time he did, but I didn't and so it progressed. After a few months, he was back to regularly calling me doll, and I was back to telling myself that it was a daughter thing. One day, I asked him where the box cutter was as I needed it. His response? "It's in my pocket, go ahead and grab it." Not even thinking about what he said, I started to reach and then hesitated with a confused look on my face. 'Did he just say what I think he said?' Frank immediately began cracking up, as he handed me the box cutter, "Ohhhhhh, you were totally going to do iitttttt, ahahahaha." Still not even able to process what had just happened, I returned to my job.

Later, Frank came up to me and told me to do the same thing to another coworker. I stammered out that I wasn't comfortable with doing that. He asked why. I replied, "Because it's inappropriate." His response? "Ooooh? You took it like that? Oh no! I didn't mean it like that." What the fucking hell did he mean then? How is asking me to remove an item from his pocket fucking funny unless you're referencing to a hand job or your dick? Let me spoil that one for you. It's not.

I considered reporting him for sexual harassment. I really did. I even spoke with my managers about the situation, but in the end, I decided not to. Again, I was scared. He wouldn't be allowed to tell anyone else about me reporting him. But he had a big ass mouth. He'd worked at my store for six years. Him and Wall-E were besties. It would get around that I was an uptight bitch and no one would be willing to talk to me. Of course, my bosses swore that they had a no-tolerance policy for retaliation - but they force people to see me the same way they did before I became the uptight bitch. They couldn't force my coworkers to continue laughing and joking around me. I knew that, so I instead did what my managers recommended I do if I refused to give them his name. They told me to go talk to Frank, so talk I did. And boy, I wish I fucking didn't.

Deciding that I had already addressed the "It's inappropriate" about the box cutter earlier, I chose to just talk to him about the nicknames. At this point, I had decided, no he didn't see me as he would his daughter. If that's how he spoke to his daughter, I felt sorry for her. So I mustered up all my courage to tell Frank again politely, "Frank, I'd really appreciate it if you call me by my name. It makes me uncomfortable when you call me by those names." His response? Oh lordy, lord lord. His response pisses me off more than anything else here.

(paraphrased)"WHAT? Are you serious? I can't believe you'd imply I would EVER cheat on my wife! I love her and I would never cheat on her. Y'know what? You talk all high and mighty but you're just as bad as the rest of us. (I have a standing policy that I don't care what sexual shit they talk to each other or about customers, as long as they leave me out of it.) You call me Frank all the time! (I accidentally called him Frank once, and would occasionally call him Frank as a standing joke of how silly I'd been to call him that before) How DARE you insinuate that I would ever cheat on my wife? You're completely blowing this out of proportion! I don't mean anything bad by it! Y'know what? You just act like a professional and I will too!" Cue him storming out of the room. I stewed over this for thirty minutes or so. I didn't have the right to be called by my name? What? I should just sit back and let him call me whatever he wanted? I took several deep breaths to calm down and went back to talk to him - albeit I had to fib a bit.

"Frank, I didn't know that me calling you "Frank" made you upset, I'll definitely refrain from doing it again in the future. I know you don't mean anything bad by what you say (fiiiiiibbbbb), but if someone else were to come and call me those things and mean bad things by them, I'd have to let them because I let you." This he seemed to accept and he calmed the fuck down and stopped being an angry fuck. But I couldn't be comfortable around him anymore. I dreaded days where we worked together. And I secretly celebrated (and all my other coworkers were sad) when he eventually got fired (for something else).
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Even when I'm doing my recreational activity - GAMING - I get to deal with this shit. It is SUCH a rare occasion to find a guy who is genuine. One who respects your personal boundaries and doesn't throw a hissy fit about how you're "overreacting" when you tell them you're uncomfortable. If you're that guy, thank you. Instead, I get told to get back in the kitchen. I hear "OMG A GURL" if I ever speak in a CS:GO server without having male friends with me. Guys friend me randomly because "OMG A GURL." They try to give me free shit because "OMG A GURL." I get messages asking me for titty pics or "Prove your a guuuurl". I get guys who are normally pretty good drunk messaging me on steam about how I should dump my boyfriend to be with them instead. I get told I am a possession. I am an object.
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THIS ISN'T EVEN ALL THE STORIES I HAVE. I limited myself to the past YEAR. I have a shit memory, so I know I'm missing stories of what's happened. This doesn't count the sexual harassment I faced at my previous job either. This doesn't count the AGE discrimination I dealt with at my previous job. At this point, I'm just....I don't even know. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm despondent. I'm sick and tired of sexist fucks. Granted, I do know good people...but still. I hate having to deal with this every day I go into work. I hate knowing that I can't join a random matchmaking or server without having to deal with trolling because I'm female. I hate knowing that regardless of where I go, it will always follow me. I'm working on learning how to set better boundaries, and dealing with the backlash that comes when you call out a sexist creep on his sexism...but it's just. I don't know. I'm tired of the pet names. I'm fucking sick of being told (by words and by actions) I'm inferior because of my gender. I feel angry and helpless. I hate feeling like I have to represent my entire gender. I hate feeling like I have to prove to everyone that I am not inferior. I feel just so...done.

TL;DR Somewhat sexist conversation with coworker causes me to reflect on all the sexism and sexual harassment I've dealt with in the past YEAR alone. I'm so done with this shit [SEE ABOVE YOU LAZY FUCKS<3]. Sorry for the book.

Sexist? Seriously, fuck you.


Last edited by Cemynx on 08 Jun 2014 20:14, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Sexism is deplorable
PostPosted: 08 Jun 2014 19:58 
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I'm not going to quote the entire novel(to save time for the other readers) but I agree. There are really sexist people and you have a right to be mad

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 Post subject: Re: Sexism is deplorable
PostPosted: 08 Jun 2014 20:20 
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Joined: 29 May 2014 23:39
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To be honest, I'm surprised anyone read it at all. Thank you ^^

I'm just going to try and calm myself down by brainwashing myself with "EVERYTHING IS AWESOME".


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 Post subject: Re: Sexism is deplorable
PostPosted: 08 Jun 2014 20:21 
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Man just reading this made me angry. Society sucks.
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One who respects your personal boundaries and doesn't throw a hissy fit about how you're "overreacting" when you tell them you're uncomfortable.
Ugh, this is the worst, that subtle sexism. The stuff where if you try to explain to somebody (especially a man) why you're so angry or upset, they just look at you askance and try to justify it. "Come on, I'm sure he meant..." or "Are you sure he didn't say..." or "I think you're just reading too much into it" or "If they had said that to me, I would have..." That one is the worst. I'm sure you would have just <whatever> if they had said to you, but that would have been so completely out of the ordinary that that's really the only appropriate conversation. It takes on a whole new meaning when this happens every single day with every single encounter.
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Instead, I get told to get back in the kitchen. I hear "OMG A GURL" if I ever speak in a CS:GO server without having male friends with me. Guys friend me randomly because "OMG A GURL." They try to give me free shit because "OMG A GURL." I get messages asking me for titty pics or "Prove your a guuuurl". I get guys who are normally pretty good drunk messaging me on steam about how I should dump my boyfriend to be with them instead. I get told I am a possession. I am an object.
Sometimes sounding like a little boy does have its perks... :/ I am glad I have never been propositioned for tit pics.

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 Post subject: Re: Sexism is deplorable
PostPosted: 08 Jun 2014 20:32 
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Joined: 29 May 2014 23:39
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Man just reading this made me angry. Society sucks.

Ugh, this is the worst, that subtle sexism. The stuff where if you try to explain to somebody (especially a man) why you're so angry or upset, they just look at you askance and try to justify it. "Come on, I'm sure he meant..." or "Are you sure he didn't say..." or "I think you're just reading too much into it" or "If they had said that to me, I would have..." That one is the worst. I'm sure you would have just <whatever> if they had said to you, but that would have been so completely out of the ordinary that that's really the only appropriate conversation. It takes on a whole new meaning when this happens every single day with every single encounter.
RIGHT? I get my feelings invalidated and I get brushed aside because "You're a girl, girls overreact about everything." I don't think these guys realize that we're not just reacting about that one situation. It's about the same situation happening over and over again.
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Sometimes sounding like a little boy does have its perks... :/ I am glad I have never been propositioned for tit pics.
That's become a rarer request, I will admit. I think I've learned how to avoid the type of guy who will do that. I really like my voice - in person. Online, I dislike my voice. I definitely wish I had a voice morpher to make me sound masculine so I could play CS:GO in peace. I've tried using some, but I just end up sounding like a stereotypical gay guy whose voice is....very strange.

Usually when I first join a new server, I'll only type in chat, use a unisex name, and say I'm a guy. Then I see how they treat or talk about girls when they come into the server. If they're decent, I'll rejoin under Cemynx and see what happens. It's fascinating to see how people's reactions towards me change - even though I'll act exactly the way I did when I was a "guy".
I've had guys who hated me when I was "Science Doge" suddenly become my best friend when I was "Cemy". Other guys I was buddies with couldn't even talk to me anymore because they're girl-shy. Others would go from being assholes to overly helpful. Very few guys would actually treat me exactly the same. My boyfriend was one of those rare guys. Him treating me with respect despite my gender was one of the reasons I first fell for him.


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 Post subject: Re: Sexism is deplorable
PostPosted: 08 Jun 2014 22:17 
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First off, I'm sorry to hear that you've had to experience this. That sucks.

That said, here are a few thoughts:

Don't compromise what is right just to keep the peace. Don't act like someone you're not or accept something that doesn't make you comfortable just because you don't want to rock the boat. That said, be realistic with your expectations. Any job that is male dominated is going to have more prevalent sexism than jobs that are not. I'm guessing that meat departments are pretty high on the male to female ratio. As a pilot, I have a career that is very heavily male dominated as well. Sexism does take place. I've flown with pilots who feel that "women belong in the kitchen" and they don't treat female pilots like they do male pilots. I've also seen passengers (both men and women) react nervously when they see that they have a female pilot. Is it right that women in these male dominated jobs are treated differently? No, of course not. But nonetheless, it should be expected. Not accepted, but expected. If you are going to enter this type of career, it will behoove you to do so with an expectant attitude of how you may be treated at times and have a game plan laid out in advance for how you will react and handle these situations. It will be very beneficial to think about these things at home with a clear mind so that you don't end up reacting in a way that you later regret. Prepare yourself for the next situation. Decide what your comfort boundaries are and what you are and are not willing to accept, and then stick to that game plan. This will allow you to react to these situations with logic and composure. As a general rule, always confront the co-worker first in a reasonable manner before you go to management (unless the guy is WAY out of line and flagrant). It sounds like you already have been quite patient in these situations and are not likely to over-react, so that's good. Give people the benefit of the doubt initially, but once you've confronted someone and they clearly aren't appropriately changing their behavior, you have to be prepared to stick to your guns and follow through. Don't get frustrated and give up hope or allow yourself to be bullied, but be realistic and understand this is going to happen and have a plan of action ready to go. Taking the right path is often not the easy one.

As for CSGO.......well now you have 2 things working against you: 1) vastly male dominated (as mentioned above), but also 2) vastly dominated by youth, which means less maturity overall. When you combine the two, well, you are gonna get what you have experienced unfortunately. I would recommend just keeping a good perspective and ignoring the guys who are really annoying. If you don't respond or react to them at all, they won't have any fuel for their fire. Don't let them get under your skin. Most of the guys who act that way are probably teenagers who have never had a girlfriend and just don't know how to act around girls.


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 Post subject: Re: Sexism is deplorable
PostPosted: 08 Jun 2014 22:23 
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I don't agree with ignoring the situation. Women have been ignoring sexism on the Internet since the Internet was made, and we're still in this position. I've seen huge improvements in the last year or two, however, now that people are starting to say something. People behave like that online because they think it's acceptable, and unless somebody says something they'll continue to believe that.

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 Post subject: Re: Sexism is deplorable
PostPosted: 08 Jun 2014 22:28 
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Location: T͚̜͙͚̠̦ͬͧ̐ͬĥ͙͉͙̥̹̝͖ͮ̒̒̋ͤ̄eͭͫͭ ̥̤͔̽ͥ͐ͦͦͣỊ̒̎n̖͚̘͇̬̟te̻̥͇̳̲̲͊̂͆ͩr̝̯̦̼͔̖̻̽n͙ͬ͆̎e͔̰͎ͩ͋̀̚t̮̞͎̓ͨ́
Spongeboobs: I guess that could be passable has he's just an idiot who has no filter. But like... come on man... How could you not know that was inappropriate.

Wall-E: This pissed me off. First, when I picture myself with my family in ?? years, I picture me as the provider and my wife as a SAH mom. That would be ideal for me/a fantasy/a dream come true (something of that nature). BUT NOT BECAUSE SHE CAN'T WORK. I would encourage her to study during the children's growth, so she could, literally, do what ever job she wanted that would make her happiest. The dream job that doesn't pay much, anything she wanted. That would be my ideal situation, but of course I would never ask a career oriented woman to drop her life to take care of our kids. That would be insanely disrespectful.

"I ain't no sexist": Thats just... that sounds like a pretty prejudice statement to me. Almost as if he's just masking it. Where is the need for this to even be said :s I actually had a problem with the standards to become a police officer, when that's what I thought I wanted to do. In Ontario at least, there are physical standards for a man, and physical standards for a woman. The women's standards are lower... But.. It's the same job? I didn't like that they had two sets of standards. It should just be, "this is the requirement, if you can pass it, you are able to do the job." I hate that everything is always segraegated.

I have to go, I'll finish reading tomorrow

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 Post subject: Re: Sexism is deplorable
PostPosted: 09 Jun 2014 00:39 
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There are alot of desperate people in games because they can hide who they are and say things they can't. But I can see where this is coming. It may not seem like it cause im a male, but i see it here too and i agree it is quite annoying. its stupid how society has come to... :(
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I'm just going to try and calm myself down by brainwashing myself with "EVERYTHING IS AWESOME".

i did this to stay awake when i was doing my final paper... wasnt the best idea to do. :( i ended up typing everything was awesome in my essay lol.


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 Post subject: Re: Sexism is deplorable
PostPosted: 09 Jun 2014 01:00 
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I don't agree with ignoring the situation. Women have been ignoring sexism on the Internet since the Internet was made, and we're still in this position. I've seen huge improvements in the last year or two, however, now that people are starting to say something. People behave like that online because they think it's acceptable, and unless somebody says something they'll continue to believe that.
Well I guess it depends on what exactly is being said, but as a general rule, when a bully or antagonist who is looking for a reaction gets one, that encourages him to continue the behavior. When you ignore him and he doesn't get what he's looking for (a reaction) it will likely frustrate and annoy him. This disempowers him. The problem with online gaming is you can't just confront someone the way you can in real life because the person can just hide behind their computer screen and say/do whatever they like with no repercussions (unless an admin is present). So I guess you're saying that women rebuff the comments online and then the bully realizes his comments are unacceptable and stops? That seems like an easy solution if it works.


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 Post subject: Re: Sexism is deplorable
PostPosted: 09 Jun 2014 01:44 
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I don't think the majority of these people are being bullies. I think they're just acting this way because it's the acceptable way to act online.

And yes, I am saying that confronting them works. I've seen a marked shift in the community in the past couple years, and I believe this is largely due to the confrontation men are receiving for their behavior.

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 Post subject: Re: Sexism is deplorable
PostPosted: 09 Jun 2014 14:20 
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First off, I'm sorry to hear that you've had to experience this. That sucks.
It's not your fault, but thank you<3
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Don't compromise what is right just to keep the peace. Don't act like someone you're not or accept something that doesn't make you comfortable just because you don't want to rock the boat. That said, be realistic with your expectations. Any job that is male dominated is going to have more prevalent sexism than jobs that are not. [...] nonetheless, it should be expected. Not accepted, but expected.
I struggle with this a lot partially because of the way I was raised. But I'm definitely working on improving my ability to confront people who upset me and deal with repercussions, etc.
Quote:
It will be very beneficial to think about these things at home with a clear mind so that you don't end up reacting in a way that you later regret. Prepare yourself for the next situation. Decide what your comfort boundaries are and what you are and are not willing to accept, and then stick to that game plan. This will allow you to react to these situations with logic and composure.
"This type of career" implies that I'm intentionally choosing a career that is male dominant...it's not like that at all though. Almost any career I choose is going to be male dominant unless I choose to be something that is very stereotypical (secretary, flight attendant, nurse, etc) for a woman to be. But this isn't even my career. It's something I'm doing to get by. Retail isn't necessarily a male dominant career. It just happens that in this particular store, their meat department is male dominant whereas in other stores around me, they aren't so much male-dominated.

That being said, having a game plan in advance to deal with these types of interactions is an excellent idea. My original game plan was "I don't care what sexual shit you say to each other or about members - just leave me out of it." The problem is when someone says something to me that's close to the line, I have to stop and think about it. I don't allow myself to just react to the situation because I am very guy-shy. I have a lot of trust issues in regards to men and I know if I don't stop to think about the situations I'll overreact and do something stupid. Not allowing myself to react immediately to a situation means that they take it as a sign of "Oh, it's allowed to say that to Cemy" when later I'll decide, yes, that crossed the line. Then that becomes the new norm and the new accepted way of speaking. Since the incident with Frank, I've been re-acclimating myself to the environment at my work and trying to change how I speak to them.
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As a general rule, always confront the co-worker first in a reasonable manner before you go to management (unless the guy is WAY out of line and flagrant). [...] Don't get frustrated and give up hope or allow yourself to be bullied, but be realistic and understand this is going to happen and have a plan of action ready to go. Taking the right path is often not the easy one.
If I'm confronting someone for a friend, I don't have any qualms about it. If I'm doing it for me, it suddenly becomes nigh impossible. My previous job I was sexually harassed a shit ton, so I've been working really hard to prevent that from happening at this job. Hence why I had such a strong reaction to what Frank said/did. I know that my store's corporation will protect me from the person sexually harassing/being sexist if they're totally out of line - but they really can't protect me from the backlash. And that's what scares me the most. I like my job and I work with some pretty great people. I'd hate to fuck it all up just because I can't just have a thicker skin.
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As for CSGO...
CS:GO I just try to stay around people who I know have my back. Otherwise I just hide the fact that I'm female. I shouldn't have to, but I do because I know I'm not strong enough to keep a cool head when someone's trolling me. I really appreciate this server because I can be myself. I can be a girl. And I can be bad at CS:GO and still be a girl without anyone jumping down my throat with "You're bad a video games because you're a girl. Go back to the kitchen."
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Well I guess it depends on what exactly is being said, but as a general rule, when a bully or antagonist who is looking for a reaction gets one, that encourages him to continue the behavior. When you ignore him and he doesn't get what he's looking for (a reaction) it will likely frustrate and annoy him. This disempowers him. The problem with online gaming is you can't just confront someone the way you can in real life because the person can just hide behind their computer screen and say/do whatever they like with no repercussions (unless an admin is present). So I guess you're saying that women rebuff the comments online and then the bully realizes his comments are unacceptable and stops? That seems like an easy solution if it works.
I think that there's a happy medium between the two. Inform a bully (in a non-reactive fashion) that you do not appreciate the way he's talking to you, and if he continues to do so you will cease communications with him. Then follow through.
Rebuffing comments help the guys who aren't really so bad to realize that "Oh hey, this really isn't an acceptable way to talk to a girl online. But it definitely does not help the guys who honestly believe that women are inferior because of their gender or the guys picking on girls to troll. Amaroq is right when she says the gaming community has improved over the past couple of years. Partially it is because (in my humble opinion) women have become a more common sight. Games like minecraft, sexism is a hell of a lot less common because there is a high level of female gamers on there. Games like CS:GO, there are less women so the sexism is higher. I think men are also becoming more aware of the sexism by women calling them out on it. Some men have also been doing what they can to shame trolls and get rid of them.
Travisaurus Responses
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Spongeboobs: [...] How could you not know that was inappropriate.
I honestly don't know how he didn't know that wasn't okay. Even if you're a girl who's besties with another girl, that's still not really a socially acceptable thing to ask unless she's okay with telling you. Some people are REALLY sensitive about it - especially if they have gotten a boob job.
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Wall-E:
I don't think there's anything wrong with a woman wanting to be a SAH mum. Every couple is different and what's right for them may not be right for another. What pisses me off is when a woman is EXPECTED to be the SAH mum, just because she's female. I wouldn't mind being a SAH Mom, but whoever my husband is will know damn well that I can support our family if I damn well please.
I will defend Wall-E a bit here and say that I don't think he would have told me he felt like this had I not asked. I just sorta guessed because of his age and the way he looks at me or talks about other women that he felt this way. I wanted to confirm by asking him.
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"I ain't no sexist":
I really don't think my boss is sexist. I think he felt the need to say that because so many of his employees were/are sexist. He comes from construction and is really used to very sexist environments, I think. He's made sexist jokes (I think it's okay to joke about sex, race, etc as long as it's not truly believed) but he's never given me reason to believe he actually believes any of it. He's one of the best bosses I've ever had just because he's super supportive. I don't think he's extra supportive to me because I'm female either. I've seen him give the guys the same type of leeway he's given me.
That's strange that there are two sets of standards. I agree there should just be the one standard. Otherwise they could justify paying women less because they're in a "lesser" standard. I'm not built for a job that requires a shitton of heavy lifting. I know that, so I stay away from jobs like that.
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I have to go, I'll finish reading tomorrow
Thank you for the input and for reading!
KamiKaze Responses
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There are alot of desperate people in games because they can hide who they are and say things they can't. But I can see where this is coming. It may not seem like it cause im a male, but i see it here too and i agree it is quite annoying. its stupid how society has come to... :(
Yeah, that is very true. Part of why I spend so much time on the internet is because I don't have to worry so much about guys talking to me just because they think I'm attractive or because they think they can get me to sex them. The same reasons that make it easier for me to interact with guys, are the partially the same reasons some people act like total jerks.
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i did this to stay awake when i was doing my final paper... wasnt the best idea to do. :( i ended up typing everything was awesome in my essay lol.
Ahahaha, did it at least fit in with your paper? xDDD


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 Post subject: Re: Sexism is deplorable
PostPosted: 09 Jun 2014 21:28 
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Joined: 20 Mar 2012 19:18
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i did this to stay awake when i was doing my final paper... wasnt the best idea to do. :( i ended up typing everything was awesome in my essay lol.
Ahahaha, did it at least fit in with your paper? xDDD

Apparently not :(. i noticed it after i printed it out so i had to go back n delete it n print it out again lol.


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