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PostPosted: 21 Jul 2014 20:48 
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So today at work today sucked, and I was hoping if I vented to someone about it (thanks Travis) I'd feel better. I don't. So instead I'm going to spam the rest of you with it too.

Some days, I just really fucking hate my coworkers. We were bickering over how long the stupid plastic bags were - they were saying two feet, I was saying foot and half at the longest. We'll call these two Bandana and Asswipe. So I go to my other coworker (Let's call him Mario) and ask him if he has measuring stick (I couldn't remember ruler). He kinda stares at me and repeats it. I'm all "Yeah, a measuring stick. Foot-long or yardstick." He starts laughing because he's thinking about "Foot-long measuring stick". He's obviously thinking about using a ruler to measure dicks. I get all embarrassed and all "Nooooo! THat's not what I want it for, I just wanted to measure the bags D:"
So I leave the room with him and just go back to where my other two coworkers are standing all redfaced. Mario follows me out and is all "Dudes, she just asked for a footlong measuring stick". Then he walks back into the room. Asswipe looks at me and says "You're a dirty girl. You're a dirty, dirty girl. Dirty girl." OVER AND FUCKING OVER AGAIN. I try to explain at first that's not how I was trying to say it, but then give up and just decide to walk away. I stop before leaving to say "PLease don't call me that, I really dislike it." He keeps doing it until Bandana tells him "Dude, she's serious right now." Then I come back in a few minutes after Asswipe leaves to talk to Bandana and tell him thanks for backing me up.
Mario comes out to see I'm upset and asks what's up, Bandana tells him that Asswipe was calling me dirty girl. THEN FUCKING MARIO LEANS OVER AND WHISPERS "are you a dirty girl?"
JUST
WAT
HOW IS THAT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING APPROBRIATE.
fa;iteha;tek
Bandana tells him to fuck off, except nicer. I just to decide to focus on my work until I get to go home.
Then I walk back towards the break room for my final break before I can leave. I walk by this guy we'll call Produce. Every time I walk by Produce, he looks me up and down from toe to head like he's checking me out. He stares at me when I walk away or towards him. Just...He's kinda creepy.

Traviesaurus;. ¯\(°_o)/¯: all the time? or just today?

All the time. Today especially was bad though. Usually there are other people around for him to talk to instead. Today it was just him in the produce department.

I make it back to the break room, and Produce is up there with a guy we'll call Christmas. We're talking about cookie dough and someone else says that you can't eat raw cookie dough you have to cook it. And I'm all "WHAT? But it's best raw!!"
And they start fucking cracking up
And repeating it - "SHE LIKES IT RAAAAAAWW."
And I'm just so fucking done.
I fucking hate perverted jokes
I'm just...

Traviesaurus;. ¯\(°_o)/¯: do all of these people not know what the fuck harassment is?????

The first time I was harassed here, I went to the managers to ask what would happen. But I didn't want to actually report anything yet 'cause I had talked to the guy and had asked him to stop. They made me write it all down. Yesterday I went the store manager and told him that another coworker was saying racist things (Joking about how a black coworker was "trained" and if he told them to do something, they'd say "yes mastuh") - He was all "Cemy! We don't want this to be like last time! You just can't think someone is racist from one incident" AND SO I JUST FUCKING GIVE UP
I'm never going to report anything ever again to that fucking asshole because I'm the "Girl who called wolf". And "overreacts about everything". And I'll never get promoted because of what my store manager thinks I'm an overreacting cry baby and maybe I am but I just can't fucking even.

Traviesaurus;. ¯\(°_o)/¯: honestly, if it gets bad enough, you can call HR or your GM and explain why you can't go to your manager

I don't WANT to do that though. That'll make him hate me even more.

Traviesaurus;. ¯\(°_o)/¯: but some people are fucking twats and wtf shit balls
Traviesaurus;. ¯\(°_o)/¯: i agree, im just saying if it gets to an extreme that you can not handle in any way

If that happens I'll just quit. Probably write a letter to HR management about the issues explaining why I'm quitting. Because I wouldn't name my first issue, I don't think this store manager will believe me about anything else.
Today just fucking sucks.

My plan of action for tomorrow is to go to the people who made me feel so uncomfortable and tell them that what they said really upset me and I don't want them to talk to me like that again. But fuuuck it's so hard for me to confront people about things that upset me. I'm also going to talk to the HR manager at my mom's work - if she'll make time for me to talk - for advice and to try to see how my store manager is feeling about my situation. I'm sure he's frustrated because I didn't give information on the first guy (I had never reported anyone before and didn't know how to, what would happen, or what information I would need to effectively report him. I also extremely feared lashback because he was really well liked in our department and had been at that store for YEARS) and he's probably also annoyed because he doesn't have time to tiptoe around the feelings of a girl who's been sheltered all her life and has no idea how to deal with this sort of shit.


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PostPosted: 21 Jul 2014 21:03 
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You work with some creeps. Así first I was like "...he's probably just laughing because you forgot the word ruler" bit then your coworkers jumped in and out became clear that wasn't the case. I can't even imagine how dumb that must be to hear that type of thing all day, and I work with middle schoolers. At least middle schoolers just think it's funny. Grown men who act like that around coworkers, especially those who have expressed discomfort, are just malicious.

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PostPosted: 21 Jul 2014 21:15 
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Yeaahh. Pretty much at my job, all the girls work in the cafe, bakery, are managers, or are cashiers. All the guys work the floor, some on the registers, and in the meat department. I'm one of two girls in the meat department. The other female in my department is a grandmotherly lady who is just really quiet and sweet. I think she gets to avoid this type of talk because...well, she's grandmotherly. Most of the time the guys talk shit to each other (which still bothers me sometimes if it's racist/homophobic/sexist but I can better ignore it) and sometimes it gets directed at me. Today I just couldn't let it slide as well because I got attitude from two guys in my department and two guys from other departments after I was already tired from a long day.

I don't want to quit my job because I have some REALLY good coworkers (Like Bandana, or even Mario when he's not being an ass) and I also adore my boss. I also don't want to quit because I don't want the store to be so gender segregated. I should haven't to quit my job because they don't seem to understand what's okay or what's not. I could ask to be transferred out of this department, but I'd really rather just quit if I'm going to lose my awesomesauce boss-man.


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PostPosted: 21 Jul 2014 22:46 
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Location: Austin, TX.
Next time you see him, ball your fist up and aim dead center at his Adam's apple. I'm very sure he won't be harassing you then.

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PostPosted: 22 Jul 2014 07:23 
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Couple things..

1. Your coworkers sound more immature than me when I first joined the clan

2. Take your phone and record them harassing you

3. As a last resort punch them straight in the jugular and ask them to prove it

At least as swipe was appropriately name...

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PostPosted: 22 Jul 2014 10:57 
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Yeah I agree with recording the harassment. Also record your boss telling you you can't file a complaint.

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PostPosted: 22 Jul 2014 12:17 
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record every fucking second of it. then go to your manager record that fucking piece of shit twat cunt nugget, then call HR up and say boy do I have something for you to hear. After its over, you say I want everyone involved in this fired or I am gonna sue this establishment through the ground all the way to china. This is some of the worst shit I have ever heard. I would have punched my co worked in the fucking teeth for that shit. I am actually quite angry after reading this. One of my biggest pet peeves in the world is men specifically treating women this way. Its reprehensible and absolutely fucking disgusting. No fucking joke, record this shit and people will get fired.

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PostPosted: 22 Jul 2014 12:53 
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Sueing them if they don't change should be an easy victory as far as I'm concerned. Especially if you have proof of them being fucktards

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PostPosted: 22 Jul 2014 18:18 
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My boss didn't really say I couldn't file a complaint...He's just...I can file a complaint, but he makes me feel like I'm overreacting or not justified. That's something I really struggle with because of other issues and so if someone tells me I'm overreacting I'm liable to just go "Oh, okay" and walk away. It's not until later when I ask other people or really think it through myself that I realize "Oh hey, yeah no. This isn't okay." I have a lot of trouble processing my feelings in that moment because it's just me trying to stop them from thinking or saying that and not me realizing "THIS IS WROOOONGG."

Also, what would you recommend I record on? My phone? I can't leave it recording all day because that will eat up the battery. This kind of stuff doesn't happen every day - probably only once a month or so. It's hard to know when something like this is going to pop up because they'll turn something I'm saying innocently perverted (Like the fucking cookie dough joke). Yesterday just happened to be a bad day where I got double whammied with the perversion.
In addition to that, I work in a refridgerated room with very, very loud fans and machinery. We can't hear ourselves talk half the time, much less each other. I don't think my phone microphone would pick up anything clear enough. Of course, there are other places where there aren't loud fans, so maybe I could always redirect the conversations into those areas once they happen.

I think there are laws in certain states against recording people without permission. I need to look up MI's laws on that.

UPDATE:
I talked to Mario and reminded him of what happened yesterday. He started laughing again and I told him it really upset me and made me feel uncomfortable. And that his comment snowballed into an even worse thing where I was called "dirty girl" and that he participated in it and I didn't appreciate it. He stopped laughing and was sorta chuckling while apologizing and saying he would try to not do it again. I don't know how to feel about this.

I also spoke with Christmas. I told him that what he said upset me and I didn't like being talked to in that way. He kept half protesting "But I was jus- I just- But-" and then just sighed and said "Okay." He didn't really seem that apologetic either.

Asswipe and Produce didn't work today, so I won't be able to talk to them until Friday or later.

But this is really frustrating too. I feel like I'm not taken seriously or that they aren't truly sorry for what they did. I hope it's enough to make them stop in the future, but I seriously just don't even know.


Last edited by Cemynx on 22 Jul 2014 18:24, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: 22 Jul 2014 18:22 
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Michigan is a two party consent state, so you would need to look up if there is an expectation of privacy on the workplace or if it counts as public space where there is no expectation of privacy and you can record anybody at any time.

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PostPosted: 23 Jul 2014 10:21 
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Yeah, I would make it perfectly clear to those people, you may not think I am serious, but I promise you the next time one of you calls me a dirty girl I will sue you, this establishment, and anyone else standing in the fucking way. The fact you didn't get a real apology shows they don't have any respect for you what so ever and nothing is going to change. Pathetic humans.

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PostPosted: 23 Jul 2014 10:36 
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The best time to record them would be telling them that what they said hurt. Two things will happen if you record it 1. It will proof they harassed you 2. If they make even more uncomfortable, you also recorded that.

Then you can sue them

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PostPosted: 23 Jul 2014 12:08 
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I looked up MI law and as long as I am a participant in the private conversation (and not eavesdropping) I have every right to record it. If I am not a participant, I cannot record it.

Serial, I'm really not good about standing up for myself. Standing up for friends/family, not a problem. You and the other people I've talked to about this make it sound so easy to be all "YOU WERE WRONG BITCHES. NOW SHADDUP ABOUT IT OR GET SUED." But then when I go to talk to them I sound like a pathetic little timid mouse who is asking them for permission to not call me those things. I need some steel in my voice and I need it now. Gotta pretend I'm talking to a petulant five year old or something.

I have two more people to talk to still. Recording the apologies is a really good idea, Redman. I'll probably do that with the other two people left.

I'm kind of resigning myself to the fact that I'm going to probably lose my job over this too.


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PostPosted: 23 Jul 2014 14:19 
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Oh I understand cemy, I hate confrontation on that level. Even if I know I am right, I just don't enjoy it at all. I get so emotional when it happens, I get a pit in my stomach and my throat tightens up, but sometimes you feel so good afterwards. Its not easy at all though, it just sounds easy.

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PostPosted: 23 Jul 2014 16:42 
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I'm also pretty bad with confrontation. What I do is think of why confronting xyz will help me

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PostPosted: 23 Jul 2014 17:07 
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I'm also pretty bad with confrontation. What I do is think of why confronting xyz will help me
Don't shy away from confrontation. Just think about the outcome that will happen if you do nothing - that's what has driven me most of my career. I pick my battles, the one's that don't matter I let go. The times where there's an action that I never want repeated I will request to talk in person and let them know what happened and the effect it had on me. It's easier than constantly worrying about the "next time".


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PostPosted: 23 Jul 2014 23:39 
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Nothing a good ol' punch to the Adams apple couldn't fix.

No but seriously, record it and keep a backup of it.

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PostPosted: 24 Jul 2014 23:36 
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UPDATE:
Fuck this, fuck all my coworkers, fuck these sons of bitches. I'm reporting all of them. If my boss doesn't believe me, I'll go to the corporate hotline and get help there. I also have witnesses (other coworkers) of what happened so fuck them I'm going to report their asses. If they all hate me, whatever. If I get fired over this stupid bullshit, I'll get a new job. I'm good, hard worker and I'll find a new job.

I'm writing up a report right now of the above events and I'll give them to my immediate manager (a totally awesome boss) to read before I give them to my store manager (asshoooleee). I'll update with how it went and what else happens.


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PostPosted: 24 Jul 2014 23:54 
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What changed your mind?

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PostPosted: 25 Jul 2014 00:20 
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I don't want someone else to go through this from the same guys. If I can at least show them this is not okay, then great.

Also, if they DO continue doing this, I need a record of each incident so actions will be taken.


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