I've been reading this book about competition and the way it influences your mindset and self esteem, and I can see a lot of it whenever we matchmake together, that causes a lot of negativity. I read this quote, however, and it really struck a chord as being pretty spot on with the mentality:
Quote:
We claim righteousness for ourselves and require an "other", an opposite ... a nonself who embodies evil. To that degree, blame becomes a basic behavior and revenge a solution.
I see that a lot when we play together, because everybody gets so wrapped up in the competition instead of in the enjoyment of playing together with a group of people with whom you have strong communication and strong in-game cohesion. If the round is lost (note that I said "if the round is lost", not "of somebody makes a mistake"), immediately we turn to arguments about who did what to lose the round." You planted too soon", "you didn't cover my back", "you saw him, why didn't you shoot". We look to blame each other for the loss instead of simply taking what we learned about our cooperative effort as a team, and we use it to push blame instead of to improve.
Then sometimes we take it a step further, into revenge. "Well if you're not going to follow my call perfectly, then I just won't call anything" or "might as well just run around where I want because you're just going to let me get flanked anyway". Once again we're so caught up in the win and loss of the match that losing a few rounds because of mistakes will actually cause us to purposely work against our own team.
And we do all this so we can ignore our own shortcomings. We blame the bomb planter so we don't have to think about how we completely whiffed our spray on that bad guy. We blame the guy covering our back to avoid admitting we changed our position and forgot to communicate it. It's easier to criticize imperfections in others than in yourself.
I want to challenge everybody as they play to stop focusing so much on whether you won the round or lost out, so that you can stop trying to find who you should blame for the loss. I want to challenge you to recognize that everybody in the game, including yourself, is going to make mistakes, and to play together to try to reduce those mistakes - and take into consideration that blaming people for the round loss is not anywhere close to the same thing as providing constructive feedback at an appropriate time rather than in the heat and anger following a lost round.
I hope this post makes sense. I'm trying to type it really quickly on my phone before break is over and I'll probably have to edit it when I get home.