Absurd Minds

We've all played Valve Matchmaking, and I think that we all hate it equally. Unfortunately, a majority of the issues that I am going to point out have no easy fix, even when ignoring the business standpoint. However, I'm still going to give my personal issues with Valve Matchmaking.

1. Cheating
Everyone has run into an obvious spin-botter or wall-hacker, etc. Once you get into the higher ranks like SMFC-GE, you get them every other game, and it is unplayable. Even worse, it is so easy to bypass Overwatch, that they never get banned, because everyone fucking knows, VAC won't do shit.
To fix this, I think that Valve should simply implement a paid matchmaking system with a more invasive AC, as well as a higher likelihood of a reported player to be put into a higher tier Overwatch folder, so that they are only judged by experienced players and viewers.

2. The Ranking System
As of right now, I an a Legendary Eagle in matchmaking. This is pretty good, right? Top 10% ish? Well, I don't care. I visibly outclass players in this rank every game. I'm not trying to boast, or sound like a narcissistic jackass, because I'm not, I just think that even if I am losing, and we lose 16-6 every game, if I drop 30+ frags a game on average, I should probably rank up eventually. Let me read off the frag count from my last 5 matches, which were all losses except for this first one.
43
31
33
29
35
Something is askew...
To remedy this, I think that Valve should implement a system similar to that of League of Legends *Shudder* and allow players who are visibly better, to rank up faster, even from a loss. Especially in such an extreme case as mine.

3. The Player Base
This is not possible to fix. However, I'm legitimately pissed, so I'm going to point it out anyway.
Every fucking Matchmaking game that I play, I always get at least one player, who under-performs to a point where I wonder how they managed to fucking type in their password.
(As a side note, I don't think some of these people could pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the fucking heel.)
These people always have the exact same excuse for not playing well, and making illogical and anti-competitive decisions, which is,"It's just Matchmaking, calm the fuck down you try-hard cunt." How fucking daft...
These people are a cancer to this game, and I hope that they wipe their ass with dendrocnide moroides and fucking commit suicide with a car key. And Valve can't do anything, Reddit can't do anything, Overwatch can't do anything, VAC can't catch these cunts, only their parents from their broken fucking home-life where their Uncle raped them four times a day as a child until they were seven, and their asshole was so stretched that they couldn't even feel shit with the balls in with the four-incher of Uncle-Brutis in the corner, can them.
Now with a little more polish and coherency, I feel that these people are anti-competitive and should stay away from a game-mode that is called competitive.

In conclusion, MM is cancer, and should be avoided at all costs.

I like matchmaking. Personally I think it's the best pug system out there. But I also think your complaints are legitimate.

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It truly sounds like you're the cancer, judging by that paragraph. I hate when people say try-hard, but it IS just matchmaking.

Matchmaking is a competitive way to play CSGO. It's no different than playing basketball with a couple of friends. You aren't just out their shooting freethrow shots, you're trying to win. But it isn't the NBA, it isn't even a local competitive league. It's just a pick up game. That's all matchmaking is, a pick up game.

Consider playing competitively, or alternatively, buy another csgo account next time it's on sale. I used to get upset too; multiple accounts helped me. I have the account that everybody has on their friends list, I have a smurf so that I can play with bad friends and they won't get destroyed, and I have a third account that literally nobody has added and I refuse to add a single person. It's for try-hard solo queue.

But seriously, why not start a team if you're starting to take it too seriously? It's a game and games are supposed to be fun/entertaining.

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Honey Badgers have very tough skin. The skin is very thick and rubbery, which is almost impervious to arrow and spears. Even a blow from machete can't scratch the skin. The skin protects them from bites.

I agree with sentenz on this one. You don't go play a pickup game of basketball with friends and then you just double dribble and shoot half court shots and then bitch at your friends for being tryhards when they actually take reasonable shots. Matchmaking isn't professional level but it's still competitive and it's still serous.

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I just thought of this and I'm going to throw this out here: solo rank and a team rank.

Let's say your solo rank is based solely on frags / clutches / kills and such. Your team rank is based primarily on team scores and such.

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Valve has been teasing steam group elo since the beta. They need to implement that.

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Steam group elo? How would that work? I don't understand that one for actually matching people up. The only way I could think of it using our real AM group for exampl, all the good players int he group would get pulled down playing with less skilled people, the essence of smurfing; and all the less skilled players in the group would get pushed up and be playing with all more skilled people, getting rekt.

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Honey Badgers have very tough skin. The skin is very thick and rubbery, which is almost impervious to arrow and spears. Even a blow from machete can't scratch the skin. The skin protects them from bites.

You'd basically want to make a separate steam group for any team you had, and always use that tag when you played together.

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I wish there was just one other option of some sort.

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I'm so official, like a dealer with a pistol or referee with a whistle.

[/insert more for unranked 5v5]

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I agree with everything in your post. The last venture I had in MM was four months ago around SMFC range, and it was nothing but cheaters. These people had zero game sense but would snap on to me and track me through walls. Valve has done nothing to improve the experience since it shipped the feature, and it's totally unacceptable to not even offer 128 tick MM for a game that relies on precision and makes them millions of dollars.

It's a laughable experience and horrible PUG system, anybody that has played Overwatch competitively knows that there is a better way to do things for a game with a huge playerbase. Unfortunately, Valve will not do it. There's no point in playing MM.