Absurd Minds

With the recent identification of Redman's amazing super power of always being able to post stuff in the wrong subforum, I wanted to open this question up to everybody: What's your useless super power?

I always know exactly how long things will take. If I say I will be home in five minutes, I'm not ballparking it. I will be home in exactly five minutes.

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Your's is true! Serial was telling me about that!

"What time is it?"
"It is..... 4:33!"
*time is exactly 4:33*

My superpower would be super adaptation. I can learn and get good at anything extremely quickly.

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Honey Badgers have very tough skin. The skin is very thick and rubbery, which is almost impervious to arrow and spears. Even a blow from machete can't scratch the skin. The skin protects them from bites.

Ummmmmm...... Neither of these are USELESS super powers. Both can actually be quite useful. Redman's super power is certainly useless. Let's try to stay on topic please, lol.
My useless super power would be: I'm really good at checking things multiple times that I know I already checked..... For example, I look back 3 times to make sure the garage door is closed when I leave the house, even though I know I saw it close. I check my important essentials 4 times when I go anywhere (wallet, badge, phone, etc), even though I know I already checked them. I think I have a problem.

I can't think of any use for knowing you'll be home in 4 minutes instead of 5.

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LOOK AT FANCY PANTS OVER HERE WITH HIS BADGE!

The 3 necessities of leaving the house IN THIS ORDER:
Phone
Wallet
Keys

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Honey Badgers have very tough skin. The skin is very thick and rubbery, which is almost impervious to arrow and spears. Even a blow from machete can't scratch the skin. The skin protects them from bites.

I can cook minute rice in 56 seconds.

Damn Ace that's fantastic.

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I don't know why this made me laugh so much.

My useless super power is the same as jabberwock's. Before bed, I check to make sure my phone is charging at least 5 times and make sure my alarm clock is set to the right time over and over again even though I know it's correct. Before I leave my house, I check my pockets to make sure I have everything. After I take a shit, I make sure I flushed the toilet after I leave the bathroom even though I just heard it flush.

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I'm not alone!! Yay!
Haha, right! ....even the TSA employees have badges these days. So there is nothing special in general about having a badge. Mine is essential for what I do though.
Well I certainly think knowing exactly how long something is going to take is very useful. Take it from someone who is chronically underestimating how long something will take.... a trait that really annoys my wife.

Well that's true. It is nice to be on time.

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"Be home in 10, honey"

*Starts up the plane in Austin, TX*

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Honey Badgers have very tough skin. The skin is very thick and rubbery, which is almost impervious to arrow and spears. Even a blow from machete can't scratch the skin. The skin protects them from bites.

Aside from my wrong sub forum power mine would be being able to predict random things(mainly in sports). I could call the next play in a baseball game and be right 90% of the time.

It's not completely useless as I have won a few bets like that

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Since plastic is made from petroleum and petroleum comes from dinosaurs, then that means plastic dinosaurs are made from real dinosaurs

I can help you fail statistic quizzes. As a psych/pre-med major Tbh professor was wrong too.

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^Feel free to add for mm/altpug/10mans/anything else

It's not a trait. It's a super power!

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Lol, right! Sorry!

I discovered I have another useless super power. I don't normally crave food, but I know that if I have a craving for food, somebody finished off the rest of it yesterday. So my useless super power is knowing when food is gone.

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i can see but i am blind.......

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