Absurd Minds

More than 100 years without a motto.
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 Post subject: Drivers
PostPosted: 24 Jun 2010 17:58 
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Joined: 25 Mar 2010 19:21
Posts: 5023
I am what you might call the worlds most unlucky driver. Is this because I get into accidents a lot? Is this because I never find a parking spot? Is this because my car breaks down? No, no, and no. It is entirely because I excrete a pheromone that is only detected by the dumb part of the population. The part of the population that doesn't learn, but actually LOSES intellect on an almost daily basis. The part of the population that if allowed to continue to breed, will eventually be the end of us all! The part of the population that even a inbred hillbilly wanna-be gangsta with down's syndrome would turn its nose up at! They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and ages. There is no prejudice with stupid, stupid is everywhere.

I have nearly been in fights on numerous occasions because if you do something stupid on the road, and don't throw up a hand to acknowledge it or better yet, if you blame ME :evil: :evil: for your stupid maneuver on the road then I will go out of my way to flip you off, waste your time, or (my personal favorite) make a spectacle of you in public.

So I am driving home one day, and this old lady is driving in front of me (old drivers is an entirely different rant) on a really windy (the air was not blowing hard lol) road. The speed limit is 25 mph, but most people do 40 or more including myself. I usually get irritated if people do the speed limit, but I can't really complain cause they are following the rules, which is all I really ever ask. HOWEVER, this wrinkled skank only wanted to do 15 on this extremely hilly road. So doing 15 I can either ride her ass or damn near roll backwards on a hill with my 4 cylinder civic. So I drive for like a mile at this and I just start losing it. I honk my horn some and I get absolutely no response. How grandma is deaf is she? Well, lets see if a mile of solid horn will get her attention? .....Nope not a damn thing. Suddenly a car starts heading towards us in the other lane. Now if I haven't described this road bad enough yet, there is no shoulder what-so-ever. To my right is an embankment that drops down I don't know 50-60 feet probably into nothing but huge trees and rocks. To my left is a 3-4 foot deep ditch and then a rocky mountain. No up until this point grandma had at least stayed in her lane the whole time. As I see this car getting closer and closer she starts just veering over into the wrong lane, and nearly runs this poor man into the side of the mountain.

I begin thinking for this other driver. This little lady is gonna hit this man head on and her death will be on his conscience forever. I start laying on the horn and don't let up until she has nearly but him in the wall and we are well past him. Grandma immediately go back into her lane after we had passed. At this point I am thinking "HOLY SHIT I AM GONNA SEE SOMEONE DIE ON THE WAY HOME!!!". This proceeded to happen two more times the third time actually putting the person in the ditch. Each time she started veering over early and I start laying on the horn and he swerves back over after passing by the oncoming traffic. Every time I get more and more anxious memorizing her license plate (I don't know why, I didn't have a plan at the time) and making sure I don't die in the calamity she is about to unleash.

Finally, she slows WAY down and pulls into this driveway on our left and I lay on the horn again and she leans out the window and flips me off. Now before we go any further, might I remind everyone of what I said above blaming me cause you are a fucking loser, I have to say I am not usually the kind of person that would act like this towards an elderly woman or man for that matter...but my blood boiled in a second at the sight of her middle finger and the look of disgust in her face. I leans half my body out the window at a dead stop and said "FUCK YOU, YOU OLD FUCKING FILTHY BITCH!! Or something along those lines and gave double birds back to the old hag. Then I screamed "LEARN TO FUCKING DRIVE OR DIE AT HOME!!

I don't even know where to begin. I attract drivers like this all the time. This lady wasn't even close to the worst one yet. I'll post more as they happen or I remember them.

 Post subject: Re: Drivers
PostPosted: 26 Jun 2010 03:33 

Joined: 29 Mar 2010 17:20
Posts: 991
Location: Los Angeles, CA
hahahahahaha man what a story sucks to see the likely death of a couple people
but man i swear i couldnt help but laugh at the end of that
way to go at tetlling that lady off
seriously man.....youre just awsome lmao

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